Sunday, February 9, 2014

Into Nottingham

  I have been of mind of late to make a journey into the village. Not a big journey just one to where I can get whatever whispers concluded. So today I dared myself to go and I did. It was not as bad as I was expecting. Yes there were stares and whispers and by chance a laugh or two, but I did not care for I held my head high, looked straight ahead and walked. I will say that I was not walking proud, well maybe I was a little but I refuse to believe I was mean about it.Just because I am a Gisborne does not mean I have to be cruel. I am the wrong Gisborne for that emotion.


Pardonne, I am still angry with Sir Guy. I was hoping by chance to see Guy in the village for I have not seen him since Christmas. Alas, it was not meant to be. So that has made my anger stronger. Even so my love for Sir Guy is just as strong. Do not love and hate live in the same space in the heart? Is this not natural? Or is it just Guy and me? I pray that I will soon see him.

*Sighs and looks away for tears are in my eyes* Pardonne moi. I am now ashamed of my anger towards Sir Guy and I miss him more every day. I do not believe that death would ease the pain that is my love for Sir Guy. I pray for his return.


1 comment:

CassiaDeWarren said...

This page of your diary reminded me of Catullo's carmen:

"I hate and I love. Why do I do it, perchance you might ask?
I don't know, but I feel it happening to me and I'm burning up."